There was a site once called “Exploding Dog” well, that’s not accurate it’s still there but he doesn’t update it any more. I loved exploding dog because it resonated with me at a deep level, and when i had discovered it (my then girlfriend, now wife showed me the wonderful weirdness) I was already kind of doing that sort of thing – random phrases, nonsensical, but far less coherent doodles than his in my college notebooks.
So – it’s always had kind of a lasting impact on my brain. Some time later, I started a webcomic about two robots named ISAC and dem. It was fun, but man it was time consuming. I’ve been wanting to get back into the whole “comic” thing but I have a kid now and there’s just no time for full time work, and drawing and inking whole stories.
I also have an extreme case of imposterism, and a hard-set belief that I am destined for failure, no matter how much I “win” at something. I honestly believe it’s a nearly direct result of my father constantly telling me how smart I was, how incredibly talented I was, and how good I was at everything. Well, let me tell you, if you hear that all the time, and then you do screw something up, then all those affirmations must be false, so, you must really be stupid and a failure. Anyway – I don’t blame him for that, I just recognize how it’s affected my wordview and my… pose… if you will.
That said “NAHFTS” is a little acrostic-ish thing that I came up with one day as a way to deal with the lies that i tell myself about my value, worth, and success. It stands for “Nah, Forget that Stuff.”
So how does that apply here? Not directly, honestly. I just like the phrase, and what it means to me. I also view it as a direct refusal to obey my inner voice, which is telling me, even now, as I write this and look at the drawing above, “you’re not good at this. You suck at everything. Why would anyone want to see what you do.”
Nah. FTS.
Since writing the above piece, NAHFTS has grown far beyond it’s original purpose, and as such, it needs a new reason behind the title. So – now – officially, NAHFTS stands for:
NAHFTS Art, Holistic Design, Functional Software, and Technology Exploration Studio