Oh man, am I all about that Instant gratification. Or, perhaps it’s impatience? Hah – doesn’t matter – two sides of the same coin and all that.
Nowhere is this more evident than with painting for me. I want it done, and I want it done now. The thing is, I know that if I were to just be patient, my end result would be so much better. But I’m not, and I end up pulling paint (where you go over acrylic with another coat before it’s completely dry, creating awful streaking effects), or making a mistake because I’m ready to move on to the next task that has my attention.
Similarly, there is nowhere I can practice fighting this more effectively than with painting!
I’ve been an off-an-on canvas-ruiner for almost two decades now, and there’s a couple of things that I have learned about myself throughout this whole journey:
- My results are so much better when I am patient
- It’s very difficult for me to remain patient
- I somehow am able to get bored doing something I deeply enjoy.
- Hyper-focus is actually really not good for my mental health.
- If I had just “fought that unproductive blob” over the years I would be so, much, better, than I am today. (Hush that noise)
The fractured chaos of an unfocused mind
Half of the problem is there’s a constant feeling that there’s never enough time. Simultaneously, the second half is an incessant drive to get it done now because I’ll never be able to focus again on this like I am now. Another half of the problem is the impatience. And then another half of the problem is that I have a significant issue with perfectionism and imposter syndrome. The final half of the problem is, apparently, fractions.
I have so many ideas in my head and I want them all on canvas. I don’t have the skill to get them on the canvas the way I want because I haven’t been able to stay focused on this particular skillset (I have a lot of abandoned skillsets) for a significant length of time. I get frustrated when I can’t execute the vision the first time, every time. Eventually, I quit, after – truthfully – increasing my skill throughout the process.
There is a way out of this patience and focus trap.
It’s called self-control. (More on this in a moment)
Oh, and telling that inner voice that whispers “Hey. You suck at this” precisely where it can go.
The only thing that improves a skill is doing that skill. The only way to learn tricks, techniques, and clever solutions is to experiment.
There’s also a direct correlation between how good I think I am at something, and how much I enjoy doing that thing.
Groundbreaking revelation, that.
I have discovered that this off-and-on again approach to so many tasks has the following results:
- I’ve been incrementally getting better at several varied skillsets over the past 40-someodd years I’ve been alive
- Because I have gotten better at them, I feel like I’ve gotten better and I’m able to stay more patient with myself in the “now”
Ok, great, so what does that mean, exactly?
Cultivating the art of Patience and Self-Control: Silencing Doubt, Enhancing Skills
Remember when I said I’d come back to that self-control bit? Here we are.
I’m now at the point where I’m wise enough to understand that frustration at being unable to instantly be good at something is ok (please ship my Captain Obvious Award of Distinction to my home). That coupled with my increased satisfaction in my abilities in several skills allows me to have the self-control to do several things:
- Fight the frustration
- Be patient with my own skill, knowing that it will improve
- And here’s the big one: being ok with setting the task down for a bit and coming back later.
The Power of Pausing: Embracing Steadfastness in Self-Growth
I intend to write a whole other piece on how I’ve discovered that Hyper-Focus is absolutely, unequivocally one of the worst things I can do to myself, but for now, we’ll just touch on it briefly.
Being able to set something down and come back to it later takes self control and is really good for developing skills, reducing frustration, eliminating burnout, and staying sane.
Why?
Because taking regular breaks while working on something – anything really – is integral to increased performance and productivity. Stepping away from something that is frustrating is a key way to clear your mind from fixation and provide an opportunity to explore other pathways and solutions. And – when you take a short break from something, your brain actually solidifies the memories of what you are doing.
Final Reflections: Harnessing Pause for Creativity and Control
If you’re like me, and you suffer from the frustration, and the burnout, and the skill soup, know that there is hope. And I am hopeful that I can inspire you to know that your skill soup is a good thing. Go ahead and fight for that self control now, knowing that even that little extra bit you push past the point of failure strengthens your skills. Don’t get fixated on solving a problem or defeating a frustration. And know that that diverse collection of skills you have curated and are still curating is immensely valuable and provides you with a diverse set of experience to approach any situation you find yourself in.
For me, with my own explorations in painting, I’m able to apply this mindset in the following ways:
- I am able to acknowledge my skill improvements
- I am able to forgive myself if I “ruin” a canvas
- I am able to step away from a painting and look at it with fresh eyes
- I am able to pause for even days at a time and return, fresh and with creative energy
I challenge you to embrace your journey – it’s what make you, you. Acknowledge your progress, look for the key moments where you make breakthroughs, and even if you abandon something for a little while, celebrate how much you’ve progressed. Even if it’s fractional. Perfection is impossible, progress is achievable and infinitely more rewarding.
I would also love to hear how you experience this journey, and how you uniquely deal with it!
