The Uncelebrated Triumph of “Almost”: A Journey Without Regret

In this article, I dismantle the paralyzing grip of regret and self-doubt, exploring why a multi-faceted and diverse history of experiences and focuses might actually be your greatest asset. 

This happens to me all too often, usually when working on personal pursuits: I’ll be minding my own business, focused on the task at hand, when a thought will suddenly pop up.

“I would be so much better at this if I’d started when I was 20”

Or 

“Man, if only I had the discipline to have dedicated 10 hours a week to this when I was younger, this skill could have been a career.”

Or the pièce de résistance:

“I don’t even know why I bother, there will never be enough time for me to get good at this”

Just a few days ago, I was working on a personal project of mine (more details coming soon!) and getting frustrated because I wasn’t going to meet an artificial deadline I had set for myself. This frustration led to me looking at the sketches I had on my desk and the small paintings I had in a stack on the side, and then finally up at a painting my grandfather had completed when I was around 7.

This painting is a beautiful vase full of flowers and butterflies, with many fine details, in a cubist-inspired style, and really, just quite nice. 

And I thought to myself “Man, self, if you could have stayed focused on one thing, you could have been really awesome at that one thing. You could be an incredible painter, or writer, or athlete. But no, you’re only 80% of everything you do.”

Remembering Why I started

My problem – and you might be able to relate to this – is that I lose track of why I’m doing something in the first place.  When I first start (or restart!) a hobby or focus, I’m not doing it because I want to sell results, or get so dang good at it; no, I start the hobby because I genuinely enjoy it! 

But then, in some sort of twisted Dunning-Krueger offshoot, I start to get decent at the task, which translates to “I am so awesome everyone will want what I am making!” Or “I’ve gotten so good at this that I must seek validation!”

But I’m only at 20%.

And then reality catches up.

And I realize that I have another 80% until mastery, and that last 10% is a doozy.

And then the catastrophic thinking shows up.

“What if I never get good at it”

“What if I never sell a single copy”

“What it it’s like all those other times I tried to do something and it never left the ground”

At this point, I’m no longer enjoying the hobby, or focus, or product. I’m losing the will to push past the blarghs, and the Wasteland of the Forgotten looms in the not-so-distant distance.

And it’s all because I forgot that I actually enjoyed this thing in the first place, got distracted by the potential, mucked up in the now, and lost sight of the destination.

Celebrate the Past, Don’t Dwell on it

Here’s the thing though – the whole reason I am here, now, is because of where I’ve been!

If it weren’t for the decisions I had made in the past – the very decisions that I find myself regretting – I wouldn’t be creating the things I am creating.  I wouldn’t be writing about regretting not writing.

Would I be writing about how awesome a writer I am because of how much writing I’ve been doing? Maybe.  Maybe not.  Maybe I would have written six whole books, bought an airplane, learned to fly, had engine trouble, and crashed in the Alps.

It doesn’t matter because it didn’t happen!

I am here, now, because of the decisions I have made, and that’s vitally more important than the decisions I didn’t make.

And just one of those decisions made is more valuable than any thousand of the ones I did not make.

Remember that thought I had when I looked at that painting?

Here it is again, just to be sure:

“Man, self, if you could have stayed focused on one thing, you could have been really awesome on that one thing. You could be an incredible painter, or writer, or athlete. But no, you’re only 80% of everything you do.”

This thought is so wildly, completely, incredibly wrong!

Redefining Success: Beyond Single-Minded Focus

Because it’s the unique soup of skills, experiences, forgotten hobbies, and all of those 80 percents that make up 100% of who I am, and where I am today.  It’s the reason that I am able to write, to draw, to paint, to write code and to animate and flow a book in inDesign and build a table and cook an absolutely killer breakfast.

So the next time you find yourself doubting your abilities, our regretting the myriad paths not taken, I would challenge you to take a step back and appreciate the diverse skill set you have developed though all your unique experiences.

Does this resonate with you? I would love to engage with you and hear how you’ve pushed through the blarghs!

In a world obsessed with perfect scores and clear-cut victories, there's an uncelebrated triumph that often goes unnoticed: the power of 'almost.' While many view it as a mere step away from success, 'almost' is a testament to effort, resilience, and the courage to try. It's a gentle reminder that even if we don't hit the mark every time, our attempts hold intrinsic value. Embracing 'almost' is not about settling for less; it's about recognizing the beauty in the journey and moving forward without a shadow of regret.